I Am Not a Crook

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I Am Not a Crook, originally uploaded by Tucker Lee Phillips.

Lost

I am lost.  I have gotten confused in my ways.  I set out for the path to the jungle, but ended up on the one to the ocean.  I don’t know where to turn around.

Please help

www.lost.eu/41cba

A Fear of Words

Why are people scared of words?  When people die, it’s always passed away or moved on, never died.  People never say I’m sorry so-and-so died, only I’m sorry for your loss.  What did you lose?  People are scared of saying their opinions, they’re scared of what follows, the opinions that others will have of them.  People are scared of saying what they’re feeling.  It makes them weak.  People are scared to say they’re pregnant or they’re gay for fear of the outcome.  It’s so sickening that people are forced to be scared of such unimportant things.   People shouldn’t be forced in repression.  They should be able to say whatever they need without fear of anything.  People shouldn’t be scared of the words themselves.  They should just be able to say whatever they like in a blunt way.  Cut out the middle part that needs to be deciphered.  Say what you mean.  You’ve only got once to get it right. 

Trust

How do we decide whom to trust?  There are so many ways today that trust can harm us, but how do we know who is trustworthy and who isnt?

Big Wisconsin Brew Fest, 2007

This is News?

 

So somebody came up with the idea that you could brew your own beer. And then my dad heard about it, and now we have about 40 bottles full of some ungodly, foul-smelling concoction laying all over the house. I’ve been told that this stuff is going to “ferment” and “age”, and that we’ll only have to live with the horrible stench for a little while longer. As for right now, it smells like somebody threw a raging kegger and forgot to clean up. I’m not even old enough to drink, so I don’t see this as much of a good thing. My dad though, the man is excited. This is a pretty big deal apparently, and I have to admit it was quite an ordeal.

Brewin’

The worst part was definitely the brewing. Basically, the idea seems to be to throw a bunch of awful-smelling mixtures together in a giant steaming pot, and then forget about it for a week. The smell makes sure that that doesn’t happen, and the lid kept popping up. This was probably a result of the chemical reactions going on, but if you asked me, I’d say it’s the pure smell trying to escape. And then we opened it up, and there was a bunch of stuff growing on the top. Just stuff. I don’t know how else to describe it, other than a bunch of grimy tan gunk floating around in what is supposed to result in beer. And I’m no beer expert, so I’m sure this is all just par for the course, but man, it’s disgusting. This had better be one heck of a batch.

Bottlin’

After the whole ordeal of getting the lid off the huge pot that has been sitting in our bathroom for a week and a half, the siphoning began. In laymen’s terms, this means we stuck a big hose in it and watched if empty into another giant pail. Which would’ve been fine, except it spilled all over the floor, and it still smelled. Eventually, it all got into bottles somehow, and they were all capped and sealed. Now, I would assume, we wait for everything to settle down. Of course, I can’t actually drink any of it, but right now the word from the experts is “it needs some time to age”. So was it all worth it? I didn’t actually do much of anything, except take these pictures, so I’d say yeah. It gave my dad something to do, got us all in the same room, and resulted in 2 cases full of beer. And really, isn’t that all you’d really need?

 

Instrument of Torture

Don’t Fret

Somebody out there has a really sick mind. They apparently decided to make one of the most popular musical instruments on Earth the most agonizing. Sure, it’s played by thousands of people, but that doesn’t mean that it’s OK. I mean, the thing looks evil to start with. And then people started calling it an axe, and bashing it on stage. Why can’t more people play something peaceful, like the french horn? Then I wouldn’t have to take so much punishment. That’s another thing too, who decided to make the strings out of metal? That’s just unholy. Do you have to grow calluses on your fingers to play the trumpet? I don’t think so.

A Long and Lonesome Road

So I guess I’m trying to learn how to play guitar. Which isn’t an easy task, let me tell ya. You see all these people playing it so naturally, and I can barely switch between three different chords. I’m pretty sure my guitar is out of town, but I’m afraid it’s probably just my fingers doing what they do best. I also seem to have the delusion that electric guitar has just got to be easier than acoustic. I mean, all my friends can play electric guitars, and they’re my friends. That has to mean something, right?

I’m still not really sure what my goal is here. I mean, I want to learn how to play guitar, but I’m not exactly sure why. I would assume it would be to play music, but I can already do that. I guess it’s just so I can say “Hey, I can play guitar”. But that doesn’t seem like much of a reason. Still, I’ve tried and quit before, but this time, I’m sticking with it. Because we all know that the world needs another guitar player, there’s just not enough of them to go around!

If I could punch You-tube in the Face, I think I would

Once upon a time…

I used to like youtube.com. I really did. No, seriously. Heck, I’ve got about 20 videos up there (all of them full of creativity and personality, I’m sure), and I’ve watched more videos than I probably need to, or should. It’s only recently that I’ve come to hate youtube with a passion, and not just for creating a giant creative vacuum from which nothing can escape. No, it’s not just that, it’s the idea that youtube.com is taking over the internet with no real reason to do so. It’s got some great videos, sure, but it’s also filled with millions of videos of people staring slightly below the camera ranting about any subject that pops into their head. This leads us to something I like to call the “Youtube-ification reaction”.

It’ll be the end of us all…

So this is how it usually works. Some loser goth kid rants about his cat. That’s understandable, I hate cats too. Then some other, potentially less gothic tween watches the video. The kid says, “hey, I also hate cats! This guy is so relatable!”. This could, of course, be the start of a beautiful, goth-flavored friendship. Instead, the 2nd kid makes a video talking about why he hates cats, and sends the first video to his (understandably) small collection of friends. They send this to their friends, and so on, and then it gets posted to some blog or website, where the whole world sees it. Since everyone needs their 15-seconds of fame these days, youtube seems to be filled with the same type of video. And yet…they’re still popular. This needs to be documented, so one day we can all sit back and wonder why some *ahem* lonely girl was so insanely popular for a split second. I hope it’s soon.

You got your crap in my Superbowl

Here’s the absolute worst part. Since people who get payed to think seem to be unable to think anymore, they simply decided to get other people to be creative for them. For free. This is both completely awesome and totally sad, since the best commercial this year during the Superbowl was produced for under $100. If money can’t make stuff creative out of sheer force of will like it used to be able to, where does that leave us consumers? In the dark, apparently, and I’m fed up. Get your ads off my youtube, and take your stupid cat-rants with ‘em. If I wanted to hear someone complaining about cats, I’d do it myself.

Little Kids are Scary, Now Where’s the Cure?

History to Back it Up

It seems that, ever since people started telling horror stories, kids have been the main horrors. Plenty of parents can probably relate, but doesn’t it seem odd that the most harmless people on Earth are often the most frightening? Where’s the fear come from? I mean, back in the “olden days”, people never even heard from kids. They just sat where they were supposed to, did what they were supposed to, and grew up into hard-working nobodies. Kids nowadays are even less scary, what with all their makeup and gaudy clothes. So what is it about the 6-10 year-olds that seems to make them the subject of every other horror movie that comes out? Maybe it’s the creepy way they’re always singing nursery rhymes in trailers for movies. I mean, that’s scary, right? It’s all echoey and quiet, and come on! Nursery rhymes are always scary! Or maybe it’s just that they look like adults, only…less-so! They’re like little people, running around and doing who-knows-what. If you’ve seen what a toddler can do with some mashed carrots and some drywall, you’re probably already shaking in your boots. But still, are kids really all that scary? Can’t the horror-movie industry come up with something other than “look at this kindergartner! She’s really, like, kinda spooky! Now she’s reciting a nursery rhyme! OoooOOOooooh!”. I don’t buy it.

Classic Cids

It seems that, going back over years of great horror movies, they all seem to involve kids. Remember “The Shining”? Yeah, Nicholson was the bad guy. But wasn’t the kid the creepiest part? I mean, come on. Redrum is way scarier than Nicholson’s face peering through a door. Or how about “Poltergeist”? Another horror classic with another darn kid stealing all the scares. And then there’s that beauty from up above, Ms. Exorcist. Let’s go back even farther! How about “Rosemary’s Baby”, which features an infant as the main source of the scares! The only horror classic that comes to mind that doesn’t feature a little girl with a creepy voice is “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, but that’s officially off my list of great horror movies after all the stupid remakes and prequels. So where’s the new idea? Where’s the next creepy thing that’ll inspire hundreds of “scary” movies? Terrorism? Pollution? MTV2? Let’s hope it’s something good, because the Saw franchise can only last so long.

And Then There’s This…

Here’s the proof. This is why kids need to be left out of horror films / stories. This movie is going to finally prove that kids just aren’t that scary after all. The Grudge did its best, and the Ring helped out, but this little piece of horror is going to blow the case wide open. Hopefully, the few people who actually go to this movie will, after gouging their eyes out, run out onto their lawns and yell to the world: “that was kind of boring”. So there ya go, horror-movie industry. You’re kind of boring. Get the kids out, and get some new ideas rolling.

6-track-itis

Of all the many things I buy, CD’s have got to be my most loved. They’re re-listenable (hopefully), and they outlast many other stupid things I spend my money on. It’s weird, then that I can only seem to get through about half the cd whenever I listen. It’s not that I lose interest, I just usually move on to doing something else by the time the first half is through. It doesn’t help that the most popular, catchy songs are usually in the first 5 tracks. It’s like they designed it that way….

But…

It turns out that the best songs are actually usually the last ones. Crazy I know. It seems that, once you peel away the catchy crowd-pleasers, there’s usually way more creativity present on the last few tracks. Take for example, this little number. Sure, it starts off strong with all the hits, but the last few songs, like “Just a Thought” and “Necromancer” honestly put the first few to shame. Another example is one of my all time favorite records, The Mouse and the Mask. Later hits like “Space Ho’s” and “Bada Bing” put the rest of the cd to shame, but you wouldn’t know it listening to the first couple of tracks.

Conspiracy Theorists, Unite

Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. But maybe, just maybe, the government’s behind it all. I don’t really know how they’d profit. I mean, most people probably do listen to the whole cd. If you do, I salute you. Keep on keeping on, and don’t let that first track fool you.

The Joys of Indie Music

IANAOUAIWBYA:

Just the other day, I got the closest thing to an indie album I’ve ever owned. In fact, before a couple of months ago, I had no idea what indie music was. But then I discovered sites like Amie Street, which has a huge collection of the stuff, and I was instantly interested. And then I got this in the mail, and I was instantly hooked. As far as I can tell, if you aren’t listening to indie, you aren’t listening to music.

It might sound like I’m bashing major record labels. And I am. It’s not to say that there isn’t any merit in browsing through the years and years of history found on the Billboard Charts. But it seems that most music these days is just recycled past the point of entertainment, at least to my ears. There’s the whiny teenage boy bands (Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco), the completely un-gangster rap groups (do I need to make a list?), and even more whiny semi-goth post-punk boy bands with guys in suits (My Chemical Romance, the various bands who look and sound exactly the same as My Chemical Romance), the list goes on and on and on. And don’t even get me started on this chick.

Luckily…

Luckily, there’s an alternative. Indie music, while sometimes copying the more popular bands, often has a unique sound, something more personal than the mainstream monotony of the chart-toppers. Unfortunately, indie music is often harder to find, though that may change due to a recent happening. So my advice? Give indie music a try. It’s cheaper, different, and usually better. And if you don’t like it, well, I’m sure Kelly Clarkson needs another sports car.

American Idol

What do people see in American Idol?  Granted, it is funny in the beginning when nobody can sing, but once that point is long gone, what is left to watch?  The humor factor has disappeared. 

Introducing me…

Well dolls, there is a new writer on this blog!!!  So, yeah.  This is kind of a waste of a post, but hey.  Anyways, if any of you are wondering this is Erin.  I’ll post something with more substance later.  I think reading is in order right now.

A Classic Problem

This is a little bit of a rant, so hold with me. Whenever I get on one of these rants, what usually follows is just a stream of angry words with little rhyme or reason, but it always turns out perfect, so I wouldn’t worry. The order of the day, it seems, is the horrible fascination with classic literature that has been a mainstay in, even a foundation of, most education. It just doesn’t make any sense. And I’m not saying you can’t look back and find a bunch of great books with useful lessons and witty satire. I’m also not saying that books today are any better. It just seems that so much is expected of these old books, and often, they don’t seem to stand up to the scrutiny.

A recent example is a little book, you might have heard of it, called “Great Expectations“. Everybody’s heard of it, it’s just one of those books. Unfortunately, it’s also a rambling, uneventful tale of drudgery and semi-depressing obsession. The reader understands the character’s personality after the first five chapters, do we really need 30 more? It’s not that I don’t understand the cultural importance of the tale. I’m sure it’s been riffed on for the last two centuries. But, and here’s where most people get lost, that doesn’t mean that it’s a good book! This could go for many more so-called “classics” that have lost most of their cultural relevance. It’s time we move on.

Introducing…

As you may have noticed, my sis is now writing for the blog. Not sure how long that’ll last, so enjoy it while it’s here

Nickelodeon

Oh so true, I remeber all those awesome shows, but you are forgetting Invader Zim.  I must admit I do watch shows such as, Drake and Josh, Zoey 101 etc., but Nick will never be the same without the old Nick shows.  They were humorous for all ages, and never got old.  Our family often times will talk about the old episodes of shows such as Rocco’s Modern Life, laughing at the hilarious episodes that were fun for everybody to watch.  But, I have never, (and probably will never) discuss shows such as Zoey 101 with my family, considering that they are just not good enough television to target more than one age group.  I hope that Nick soon discovers this rising issue, and goes back to the good old days.