I Am Not a Crook

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I Am Not a Crook, originally uploaded by Tucker Lee Phillips.

Big Wisconsin Brew Fest, 2007

This is News?

 

So somebody came up with the idea that you could brew your own beer. And then my dad heard about it, and now we have about 40 bottles full of some ungodly, foul-smelling concoction laying all over the house. I’ve been told that this stuff is going to “ferment” and “age”, and that we’ll only have to live with the horrible stench for a little while longer. As for right now, it smells like somebody threw a raging kegger and forgot to clean up. I’m not even old enough to drink, so I don’t see this as much of a good thing. My dad though, the man is excited. This is a pretty big deal apparently, and I have to admit it was quite an ordeal.

Brewin’

The worst part was definitely the brewing. Basically, the idea seems to be to throw a bunch of awful-smelling mixtures together in a giant steaming pot, and then forget about it for a week. The smell makes sure that that doesn’t happen, and the lid kept popping up. This was probably a result of the chemical reactions going on, but if you asked me, I’d say it’s the pure smell trying to escape. And then we opened it up, and there was a bunch of stuff growing on the top. Just stuff. I don’t know how else to describe it, other than a bunch of grimy tan gunk floating around in what is supposed to result in beer. And I’m no beer expert, so I’m sure this is all just par for the course, but man, it’s disgusting. This had better be one heck of a batch.

Bottlin’

After the whole ordeal of getting the lid off the huge pot that has been sitting in our bathroom for a week and a half, the siphoning began. In laymen’s terms, this means we stuck a big hose in it and watched if empty into another giant pail. Which would’ve been fine, except it spilled all over the floor, and it still smelled. Eventually, it all got into bottles somehow, and they were all capped and sealed. Now, I would assume, we wait for everything to settle down. Of course, I can’t actually drink any of it, but right now the word from the experts is “it needs some time to age”. So was it all worth it? I didn’t actually do much of anything, except take these pictures, so I’d say yeah. It gave my dad something to do, got us all in the same room, and resulted in 2 cases full of beer. And really, isn’t that all you’d really need?

 

Instrument of Torture

Don’t Fret

Somebody out there has a really sick mind. They apparently decided to make one of the most popular musical instruments on Earth the most agonizing. Sure, it’s played by thousands of people, but that doesn’t mean that it’s OK. I mean, the thing looks evil to start with. And then people started calling it an axe, and bashing it on stage. Why can’t more people play something peaceful, like the french horn? Then I wouldn’t have to take so much punishment. That’s another thing too, who decided to make the strings out of metal? That’s just unholy. Do you have to grow calluses on your fingers to play the trumpet? I don’t think so.

A Long and Lonesome Road

So I guess I’m trying to learn how to play guitar. Which isn’t an easy task, let me tell ya. You see all these people playing it so naturally, and I can barely switch between three different chords. I’m pretty sure my guitar is out of town, but I’m afraid it’s probably just my fingers doing what they do best. I also seem to have the delusion that electric guitar has just got to be easier than acoustic. I mean, all my friends can play electric guitars, and they’re my friends. That has to mean something, right?

I’m still not really sure what my goal is here. I mean, I want to learn how to play guitar, but I’m not exactly sure why. I would assume it would be to play music, but I can already do that. I guess it’s just so I can say “Hey, I can play guitar”. But that doesn’t seem like much of a reason. Still, I’ve tried and quit before, but this time, I’m sticking with it. Because we all know that the world needs another guitar player, there’s just not enough of them to go around!

If I could punch You-tube in the Face, I think I would

Once upon a time…

I used to like youtube.com. I really did. No, seriously. Heck, I’ve got about 20 videos up there (all of them full of creativity and personality, I’m sure), and I’ve watched more videos than I probably need to, or should. It’s only recently that I’ve come to hate youtube with a passion, and not just for creating a giant creative vacuum from which nothing can escape. No, it’s not just that, it’s the idea that youtube.com is taking over the internet with no real reason to do so. It’s got some great videos, sure, but it’s also filled with millions of videos of people staring slightly below the camera ranting about any subject that pops into their head. This leads us to something I like to call the “Youtube-ification reaction”.

It’ll be the end of us all…

So this is how it usually works. Some loser goth kid rants about his cat. That’s understandable, I hate cats too. Then some other, potentially less gothic tween watches the video. The kid says, “hey, I also hate cats! This guy is so relatable!”. This could, of course, be the start of a beautiful, goth-flavored friendship. Instead, the 2nd kid makes a video talking about why he hates cats, and sends the first video to his (understandably) small collection of friends. They send this to their friends, and so on, and then it gets posted to some blog or website, where the whole world sees it. Since everyone needs their 15-seconds of fame these days, youtube seems to be filled with the same type of video. And yet…they’re still popular. This needs to be documented, so one day we can all sit back and wonder why some *ahem* lonely girl was so insanely popular for a split second. I hope it’s soon.

You got your crap in my Superbowl

Here’s the absolute worst part. Since people who get payed to think seem to be unable to think anymore, they simply decided to get other people to be creative for them. For free. This is both completely awesome and totally sad, since the best commercial this year during the Superbowl was produced for under $100. If money can’t make stuff creative out of sheer force of will like it used to be able to, where does that leave us consumers? In the dark, apparently, and I’m fed up. Get your ads off my youtube, and take your stupid cat-rants with ‘em. If I wanted to hear someone complaining about cats, I’d do it myself.

6-track-itis

Of all the many things I buy, CD’s have got to be my most loved. They’re re-listenable (hopefully), and they outlast many other stupid things I spend my money on. It’s weird, then that I can only seem to get through about half the cd whenever I listen. It’s not that I lose interest, I just usually move on to doing something else by the time the first half is through. It doesn’t help that the most popular, catchy songs are usually in the first 5 tracks. It’s like they designed it that way….

But…

It turns out that the best songs are actually usually the last ones. Crazy I know. It seems that, once you peel away the catchy crowd-pleasers, there’s usually way more creativity present on the last few tracks. Take for example, this little number. Sure, it starts off strong with all the hits, but the last few songs, like “Just a Thought” and “Necromancer” honestly put the first few to shame. Another example is one of my all time favorite records, The Mouse and the Mask. Later hits like “Space Ho’s” and “Bada Bing” put the rest of the cd to shame, but you wouldn’t know it listening to the first couple of tracks.

Conspiracy Theorists, Unite

Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. But maybe, just maybe, the government’s behind it all. I don’t really know how they’d profit. I mean, most people probably do listen to the whole cd. If you do, I salute you. Keep on keeping on, and don’t let that first track fool you.

The Joys of Indie Music

IANAOUAIWBYA:

Just the other day, I got the closest thing to an indie album I’ve ever owned. In fact, before a couple of months ago, I had no idea what indie music was. But then I discovered sites like Amie Street, which has a huge collection of the stuff, and I was instantly interested. And then I got this in the mail, and I was instantly hooked. As far as I can tell, if you aren’t listening to indie, you aren’t listening to music.

It might sound like I’m bashing major record labels. And I am. It’s not to say that there isn’t any merit in browsing through the years and years of history found on the Billboard Charts. But it seems that most music these days is just recycled past the point of entertainment, at least to my ears. There’s the whiny teenage boy bands (Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco), the completely un-gangster rap groups (do I need to make a list?), and even more whiny semi-goth post-punk boy bands with guys in suits (My Chemical Romance, the various bands who look and sound exactly the same as My Chemical Romance), the list goes on and on and on. And don’t even get me started on this chick.

Luckily…

Luckily, there’s an alternative. Indie music, while sometimes copying the more popular bands, often has a unique sound, something more personal than the mainstream monotony of the chart-toppers. Unfortunately, indie music is often harder to find, though that may change due to a recent happening. So my advice? Give indie music a try. It’s cheaper, different, and usually better. And if you don’t like it, well, I’m sure Kelly Clarkson needs another sports car.

American Idol

What do people see in American Idol?  Granted, it is funny in the beginning when nobody can sing, but once that point is long gone, what is left to watch?  The humor factor has disappeared. 

Introducing me…

Well dolls, there is a new writer on this blog!!!  So, yeah.  This is kind of a waste of a post, but hey.  Anyways, if any of you are wondering this is Erin.  I’ll post something with more substance later.  I think reading is in order right now.

A Classic Problem

This is a little bit of a rant, so hold with me. Whenever I get on one of these rants, what usually follows is just a stream of angry words with little rhyme or reason, but it always turns out perfect, so I wouldn’t worry. The order of the day, it seems, is the horrible fascination with classic literature that has been a mainstay in, even a foundation of, most education. It just doesn’t make any sense. And I’m not saying you can’t look back and find a bunch of great books with useful lessons and witty satire. I’m also not saying that books today are any better. It just seems that so much is expected of these old books, and often, they don’t seem to stand up to the scrutiny.

A recent example is a little book, you might have heard of it, called “Great Expectations“. Everybody’s heard of it, it’s just one of those books. Unfortunately, it’s also a rambling, uneventful tale of drudgery and semi-depressing obsession. The reader understands the character’s personality after the first five chapters, do we really need 30 more? It’s not that I don’t understand the cultural importance of the tale. I’m sure it’s been riffed on for the last two centuries. But, and here’s where most people get lost, that doesn’t mean that it’s a good book! This could go for many more so-called “classics” that have lost most of their cultural relevance. It’s time we move on.

Introducing…

As you may have noticed, my sis is now writing for the blog. Not sure how long that’ll last, so enjoy it while it’s here

Nickelodeon

Oh so true, I remeber all those awesome shows, but you are forgetting Invader Zim.  I must admit I do watch shows such as, Drake and Josh, Zoey 101 etc., but Nick will never be the same without the old Nick shows.  They were humorous for all ages, and never got old.  Our family often times will talk about the old episodes of shows such as Rocco’s Modern Life, laughing at the hilarious episodes that were fun for everybody to watch.  But, I have never, (and probably will never) discuss shows such as Zoey 101 with my family, considering that they are just not good enough television to target more than one age group.  I hope that Nick soon discovers this rising issue, and goes back to the good old days.

The TV Dilemma

Like it or not, TV was, and still is, a huge part of american culture. I say “was”, because most of that culture seems to have dried right up, and what’s left isn’t very pretty. Sure, American Idol has some of it’s highest ratings ever, but is it still that great of a show? Most people don’t watch past the auditions anyways, and come on now, Hicks was a hack.

MTV-itis

One of the major problems that seems obvious when you’re just flipping through channels is that everything looks the same. Apparently, everyone thought that it was cool to copy MTV. This would’ve been great, if MTV still showed music videos at all. Unfortunately, all we’ve got now is stupid, Z-list celebrity based reality game shows on every freaking channel. What happened to entertainment? All we’ve got know is Jackass and Punk’d, a million times over.

Let’s get the Kids involved!

Growing up, Nickelodeon was my favorite TV station of all time. You just couldn’t beat the classics. Rocko’s Modern Life, The Angry Beavers, “Are you Afraid of the Dark?”, they were all great shows, and just edgy enough so that I didn’t understand half the jokes. Then Spongebob came along. And it was still good, right? By then I was starting to move on to other channels, but that little sponge guy sure could get into some..zany places. And then Nick went terminally insane.

Behold the travesty that is Teen Nick. Apparently, whoever owns Nick decided to become MTV, but for kids. Not kids, maybe, but tweens, the confused and helpless 12 year olds. So now we have a bunch of fake dramadeys, or whatever they’re calling themselves, filled with teen angst and…lot’s of magical guitar playing in crowded venues by people who cannot play the guitar. MTV, stay away from my Nick.

Maybe it needs a Joost?

Luckily, someone realized that TV currently sucks. Bad. So they made this thing called Joost (www.joost.com), which is going to (hopefully) make TV watchable again. Sure, the TV is magically on your computer thanks to some kinda alien technology or something, but it could work, right? I mean, I like good TV, so I would watch good TV. Hopefully, Joost will be that good TV, or so help me I’m giving the stuff up for good.

So Long, DRM

Over the last month or so, a classmate has taken to calling me “Socie”, due to my somewhat liberal stance on some major issues, and my comments, in passing, about the idea of universal health care. So yes, maybe I think the government could get a little more helpful, and take some of the load off. Something I just can’t stand though, is the huge amount of effort put into copyright management.

Directly Regulating my Music

For those not in the know, or who simply don’t care, DRM is a type of “copyright protection” that doesn’t allow you to do pretty much anything with your music. It’s especially bad for the legions of iPod fans, as the music bought through iTunes, at least currently, is embedded with DRM. I have nothing against iTunes, it’s a great peice of software with a great selection of music. But when that music is so locked down, so secure that you can’t even redownload it if your hard-drive fails, well, that just doesn’t work for me.

Help is on the way?

Luckily, the big-wigs are starting to take notice. Yahoo has begun, ever so slightly, to offer DRM-free music, and sites like emusic and Amie Street offer ipod-ready music in a handy, universal mp3 format. Another great thing to hear is that people are actually starting to buy cd’s again. I could never understand why people would spend so much money on a music collection that, for all intents and purposes, ceased to exist. And while I don’t think that vinyls are ever going to make a big comeback, here’s hoping the good old compact disk will still be around when the ipod isn’t.

 

 

 

Strong Isn’t the First Word that Comes to Mind…

Now, I’ve never been one to actually watch these kinds of things. I don’t even think I’m supposed to. These speeches aren’t addressed at me, they’re addressed at the people who actually think that Bush has a plan. AndI’m not saying that, in his mind, he doesn’t have a plan. It’s just that, up in front of all those cheering republicans and pouting democrats, his ideas just don’t seem to have any foundation.

Among the ideas brought up are temporary work permits for immigrants, and the movement towards alternative energies. This kind of talk might impress those poor people who had to stand up every 30 seconds to clap, but I don’t see how any of the things he mentioned could possible happen in the next ten years. I know the idea behind the State of the Union is to set plans in motion for the future, but the plans need support, they need a reasonable way to accomplish themselves. Otherwise, the next president is going to have a lot on his (or her) plate.

 

How Young is Too Young?

I’ve never been one to get into the whole “online-community” idea. None of my friends, the people I might actually feel like talking to, are technologically literate enough to actually use anything like Second Life, or even Myspace half of the time. And while I understand that, occasionaly, these communities can produce lasting friendships, among other things, I don’t think that interacting with fake “avatars” is the next step in social interaction.

Of course, if there’s a profit to be made, the product will eventually get the green-light. Heck, even when there isn’t a profit, there’s still often a new, “bigger and better” community just coming out. This seems to be the case with the BBC’s new project, which appears to be similair to Second Life, except for children.

I’m coming into the information age a little later in my life, but I can’t begin to understand how difficult it must be for this project’s target age group, the 7-12 year olds. Not only will they create a custom avatar, they’re also going to share content in an internet community, made up of (hopefully) other 7-12 year olds. Stop me if this sounds incredibly short-sighted.

Isn’t it important for kids to build actual relationships? To actually talk to another human being, face to face? Or are we living in an era where the share of information is simply too conceited, and the keyboard is ultimately mightier than the mouth? Apparently, this generation is on its way.